September 17, 2010 § Leave a comment
I have decided to start a regular feature on this blog called Smiles from the Trenches of Infertility. Infertility is painful, physically, emotionally and mentally. However there are many things that we experience because of infertility that can plain make you laugh at loud. I hope this feature will help you find joy during your journey…
For my first entry, I have to tell as story about my first child. My infertility is of a secondary sort, thus my husband and I, had the added complication of deciding what to tell our child. My husband and I have both been in the medical field, so we explained in terms our daughter could understand about what we went through so she could have a sister. My oldest child had seen video of her younger sister as an embryo and one day she brought home a picture for her sister. It was a black circle with several different colored lines inside the circle. She explained to me that it was a picture of her baby sister as an embryo. She told me God would take the lines and put them together to make a baby. Sweet and funny. I wish I could have seen what her other four-year old friends thought as she described the picture to them during school. I wonder if the teacher received any calls from concerned parents.
Just a funny to hopefully brighten your day!
August 27, 2010 § Leave a comment
Infertility isn’t fair. Especially since we want babies, we would be great moms, so why can’t we have children? That question has been bouncing around in my brain lately. Especially after news that a sweet friend has finished her journey of fertility treatments unsuccessfully and another sweet friend is feeling that baby hunger again years after her unsuccessful treatments. It just isn’t fair.
So what do we do with these facts: the fact that there are children born to people who do not care for
them and do not take care of them or that women are willingly aborting precious ones? My human brain cannot compute the injustice. I do not understand. Yet God is good, He is just, He is faithful, AND He is all-powerful. So we have some options. We can stew in our whys, our fist shaking, and our bitterness. We can become women no one wants as a friend. We can hold on to what we think are “our rights.” I am a woman, it is my right to bear children. We can stand in defiance, but will bitterness or claiming we deserve better change our circumstances? No.
Ladies, we live in a fallen sinful world. God who is all-powerful and all-knowing allows the injustices of the world to happen. I will not pretend to know all the whys. I believe God uses all the bad stuff and hard stuff to create change in our lives (Ro 8:28). He allows testing of our faith, He uses pain to get our attention, He always has His reasons (1Pet 1:6-7). We cannot understand His ways (Isa 55:8), nor understand all the whys, yet God promises that we will one day fully know (1 Cor 13:12). Instead of allowing our whys to change us into bitter women, we can allow our whys to point us to heaven.
Heaven, where there are no more tears or mourning (Rev 21:4). When we are heavenly minded, we are able to put our hope in God. For those of us who have conceived only to lose children, we have the hope of seeing them in heaven. For those of us who have never conceived we have the hope of having spiritual children with us in heaven. Those people we have discipled during our lives and encouraged to grow in Christ. Heaven where God lives. When we are heavenly minded, we are Godly minded. Being Godly minded reminds us that our pain and mourning are only temporary. We find our hope in the joy that is to come, just as Jesus did when He went to the cross (Hebrews 12:2).
Ladies, let us use those feelings of injustice and unfairness to retrain our minds to focus on God. Let us not dwell on what we do not understand allowing a root of bitterness to grow. Instead, let us dwell on what we know, that God has a reward waiting for those who know Christ Jesus as their Savior. Heaven. Praise God for His provision.
Father God, help us not to allow our whys to pull us into the abyss of bitterness. Help us use our feelings of injustice and questions of why as cues to turn our thoughts heavenward. Help us to think on You and on the glory that is awaiting us in heaven. Lord we give you the pain of grief, mourning, and injustice. We lay it at Your feet and we pray You will help us to focus on You. Give us an eternal worldview that we may continue to grow closer to You. In Jesus’ precious and holy name we pray. Amen.