September 1, 2010 § Leave a comment
I have been praying for a miracle. A miracle within my body so I can somehow conceive another child naturally; or a miracle that lands an orphan on my doorstep ready for adoption, no strings attached; or the biggest miracle of all, the one in my heart for contentment for my current situation.
I am not talking about liking the fact that I cannot without a miracle from God get pregnant naturally. I can never fathom enjoying the fact that against my will, I cannot add another child to my family. I am talking about the contentment that is found in God alone. Not the kind that I muster up, denying my true feelings, and hold tight to because I am afraid if I breathe wrong I may blow the peace and contentment away. I am talking about the type of contentment that is contrary to my human nature. The type that says, “God I would prefer to have more children, I know You are able to do it, but Your will, not mine be done.” This type of contentment is the kind Paul connects with Christ’s power.
When I lay down my preferences, my plans, my dreams, my hopes, my directions for life, and I allow God to have His way in me, then I can have contentment in Him despite my circumstances. In Philippians 4:12-13 Paul writes, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” So when I find contentment in Christ, I have His strength to do anything. Through contentment in Christ I have His power to face infertility. I have His power to not personalize comments that unintentionally pour salt on the wounds infertility has worn. Finding contentment in Christ empowers me to move beyond myself and my wounds, so that I can reach out to comfort others going through the grief and pain of infertility too.
Contentment in God empowers us to face infertility without tearing ourselves and our relationships apart. Christ’s power is ready and available to us. Are we ready to find contentment in Him?
Leave a comment about what you are struggling to lay down at God’s feet so you can find contentment in Him. I’ll be praying that God give you the strength to lay it down so He can empower you to face infertility. Bless you sweet sister!
August 12, 2010 § Leave a comment
Often on this infertility journey, we look around us and see what other people have. That sweet family of five, the teenage girl who is pregnant and unable or unwilling to take care of her baby, or even your best friend or sister is pregnant, why not me or you?
Sisters that is a trap straight from Satan. When we compare ourselves to other people, we only see the good things. We see the smiling faces, the sweet baby, but we forget that good and bad come together. We do not know if that family of five is from fertility treatments or if they are completely dysfunctional. We may know some of the things our friend or sister have been through to get to a beautiful pregnancy, but we do not know her daily struggles or trials. Our road is different good and bad. Gal 6:4 tells us that “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Oh sisters it is a lie to look at a woman and say it “MUST BE NICE.” We only see the good the facade. We know not what their journey has been or will be. However God knows. He knows what journey is best for me and what journey is best for you. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So God knows your journey God is in the journey, orchestrating the journey, and most of all He is with you on the journey.
Jeremiah continues in 29:12-14a, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.” So God knows His plans for us to give us hope and a future. What is amazing is He says THEN you WILL call on me, and come and pray to me. Often we dwell on the “MUST BE NICE” comparison attitude. We feed our hurt and our why-mes, but we do not call on the LORD. Once we put on our “God-glasses” and see our lives through His perspective, then we call on Him. When that happens He promises to be found by us and to be near to us and to hear our prayers. He doesn’t promise to give us what we want, but He does promise to be there.
Sisters when we compare all we get is darkness, isolation, and pain breeding pain. When we dare to look at our circumstances with “God-glasses,” we can see God’s promises to give us a future and a hope. Holding to that promise through the dark times, brings us to our knees to pray to Him and ultimately brings us nearer to our God. He isn’t bringing you through the darkness to destroy you, no He is bring you through the darkness to draw you closer to Him. Let us not allow our hearts and minds dwell on comparison. Let us dwell on God.
Father God, I confess I have “MUST BE NICE-itis.” Lord I look around me and desire what others have especially when it comes to children. Help me Lord to see my circumstances through “God-glasses.” Help me to hold to the truth of Your word. Father help me to take captive my thoughts that I may dwell on You, not on others. Forgive me for being self-centered, give me what I need to be God-centered. Thank You for drawing near to me. In Jesus’ mighty and awesome name I pray. Amen.