September 27, 2010 § Leave a comment
I have felt the pressure from others that if only I had enough faith, then God would give me a child. I never should have used fertility treatments. So I have decided to do a series of posts on faith and infertility.
Have you ever thought, if only I have enough faith, I can have a child? I just need to visualize it, or imagine it, maybe I just need to say the right words. Certainly then God will hear me and open my womb.
Is that how you feel right now? Are you feeling burdened that you don’t have enough faith to get what you want most, a child? Do you wonder how much faith makes it “enough” so that you can have a baby?
Oh sweet friend, Jesus does not equate the quantity of faith with healing. Sometimes when He healed people miraculously he mentions their faith. However He doesn’t mention a quantity of faith, but a quality of faith (See Mark 5, Matt 18, and Matt 15).
This quality faith is the kind that knows God is able to do anything, but He may choose not to do it. It is the kind of faith that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had in front of the fiery furnace. They tell the king this, “‘our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.'” Dan 3:17-18 (ESV)
Sisters let us dwell here for a moment. Do we have faith that God is able to make our bodies work properly? Do we believe that He can open our wombs? If we answer yes, then the question is: will we still love and serve Him if He never gives us a child? That is the quality of faith God is looking for. Do you have it?
Father, thank You for being faithful to us. Forgive us for our lack of faith. Lord we hand over our hopes and dreams for having children. We lay them at Your cross. O Lord give us the kind of faith that helps us cling to You regardless if You give us children or not. Thank You for loving us while we long and ache for children. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
September 24, 2010 § Leave a comment
I know God has plans for me, yet I long for a child. I am content and full in Him, but I long. I hunger for more. I desire more. In that longing, however there is contentment. The kind that says, “God I trust my dream to Your plans.” I still hope, I still long, but I am content knowing God is in control. I can rest in His love, in His plans, and draw near to Him, despite the longing. Often I draw near to Him because of the longing. Where else can I go? Only He can fulfill my longing. Only He can open my womb and fallopian tubes. Only He can knit a child together in my womb or heart.
Perhaps this is the contentment that Paul is talking about finding. He knows the secret to contentment in any circumstance. Phil 4:11-13 “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” I am sure when Paul was hungry he never stopped longing for food. Yet he was content. He was content because he drew near to Christ. Jesus, our source of strength and comfort.
How often do we let our longing disconnect us from our Source of strength, Jesus. Why not let that longing draw us closer to the Source of power? As we draw near we may find deep contentment side-by-side the longing. Just as an empty stomach will not stop longing for food, our hearts may never stop longing for children. Oh, but we can find contentment as we draw near to God.
Father God, thank You that through Jesus I can do all things that You bring to me. Forgive me for holding to my longing for a child. Help me to bring that longing to You as a daily or hourly or maybe even minute by minute sacrifice. Not to rid myself of this dream, but to come near to You to find the strength to be content in You alone. Thank You for Jesus. In His Name, Amen.
How can you use longing as a reminder to draw near to Him?